Forgeting What is Behind

 Spring has begun here in the Valley, thank goodness. We had a lot of cold days and snow this winter and as much as it was fun at times, I am ready for Spring. I am ready for warmer temperatures, longer days, and flowers to bloom. I am ready for no coats to put on 4 young kids just to run to the grocery store and playtime outside to get all the energy out. I am ready to plant gardens, change the mailbox flag, and just be outside more. Spring is a time of growth, beauty, and renewel from the winter. I guess that is how I am feeling personally too.
 Our winter was cold and dark at times. It held memories of a rushed Christmas because of the hospital return and days of just seeming to hold my breath. The nights came quickly and I just never felt like I could get warm. The news of cancer came right around the first day of winter. The darkness and fear was real and I never thought we would make it to see the Spring. The paths were covered in snow, or uncertainty with treatments and prognosis. It was a very hard winter. One that our family will never forget.
 But, now it is almost Spring. As the days began to get longer and lighter, so did our prognosis. We went from an unknown diagnosis, to 8 rounds of chemo, to then only needing 4 rounds of chemo, to then surprisingly only needing 2 rounds of chemo and surgery. Grace poured on our family like March rains and we began to see the end of the road. The steps turned from deep footprints sinking into the snow to muddy prints just walking through puddles. The hard, cold ground, or news, softened and the growth of flower leaves, or hopefulness began to bloom. Andrew is healing nicely from his surgery. He loves being outside, flying his Buzz Lightyear on his swing and throwing his frisbee in his He-Man stance. I have watched a little boy become a hero in my eyes through the winter and now he has the ability to fly into the Spring. His hugs are precious to me, like water on the dry soil helping my flower to grow. Beauty is coming out of the ashes or in this case the dormant ground. We continue to be blessed by news that we have encouraged another family or surprise gift certificates to Dairy Queen in the mail just to go out for Blizzards. I am amazed that we made it and we continue to grow taller and stronger. Our roots have deepened even more and we have more confidence in the Gardener.
  I think that the Spring will bring healing to us. Andrew will heal physically. The girls will heal from their fears of us leaving and sickness that pounds at the door. Rick and I will continue to process and retell this story to ourselves and discover new truths about God that we have learned. Our hearts will be nourished with watching our miracle boy play and grow and seeing that this scary winter didn't take him from us.  Our marriage will deepen as we have a weekend away together this weekend and celebrate 10 years of marriage together in May. It is still overwhelming to talk about our winter at times. The heaviness still haunts us and we sink when we meet others that didn't know about it and we have to start all over with the tale. That is the funny part about Spring. It is a new season, but what happened in Spring is dependent on what happened in the seasons previous. If you don't plant the bulbs in the fall, then you will not have daffadils in the Spring. The same is true with our story. Our winter has shaped us and changed us like nothing else. We will walk a little more careful with some of our steps because we are scared. We will see things a little differently then we did last Spring. But we know that our lives are in the hand of the God who creates. The God who walks through the barren winters and offers the promise of a spring. The God whose heart longs to surprise His children with beautiful blossoms and smells in the Spring, but calls them to be patient and trust through the winter. We have learned more of His faithfulness and how He is the same in all seasons of the earth and all seasons in our lives.