A Mosaic

 A few hours ago I brought Andrew home from a doctor's appointment. This was a deja vu for me because it was the same doctor that had diagnosed Andrew 3 months ago. We were in the same office and we sat in the same chairs. But today was a different day. Today Dr. M got to come in and bring us good news. He got to just do a check up on Andrew's incision and check his vitals. It was another milestone in Andrew's healing. Our first doctor's check after cancer came back fine. Andrew had spent the morning asking us all kinds of questions about this visit...will I get a shot? Can I play in the playroom? Will I see Ms. Lisa (his hospital preschool teacher)? Will I get my tubies back? All questions that run through his little mind because of his experience at the hospital. All questions that a two year old should never have to ask. But, he does, and so it was a relief to him to be walking back into our normal pediatrian's office. A relief for both him and his mom.
 Andrew has been doing great since we got home last week. He has been up and moving all around. He played with his grandparents, his Toy Story toys, went to music class. the library, and played outside on his swingset. He is sleeping great and doing well. We got slammed with the stomach bug in our house (even mom was down for the count), but other than that things are on the up. Andrew only has one little sterile strip covering his cuts and his incision is healing nicely. He will have a great war story to tell his friends when he gets older. So life as we know it has returned to "normal.'
 And me...well I am still rejoicing in the miracle that has happened. I am still learning new things each day about the Lord, myself, and the new identity I take on now as a "recovering cancer mom." A friend sent me a note last week that had a fantastic quote in it. It speaks to Rick's blog that he wrote a while ago and how I feel today. It is from a man named Ken Gire and it says, "When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces. But, He doesn't put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves. Instead, He sifts through the rubble and selects some of the shards as raw material for another project- a mosaic that tells the story of redemption." This is a beautiful quote that tells how I will never be the same, but my story has been changed drastically by the last few months. My heart has become a little softer. My love for my husband, children, and others has grown a litle more. And my testimony for the Great God in Heaven has increased even more. While sitting at the stoplight today on the way to Andrew's doctor, I realized that although his treatments and hospital stays may be over, our story of redemption continues. We still have more to teach others. We still have ways to encourage people that are hurting, in fact, we may have more voice to speak into some areas of darkness because we have gone down a darker road. We still struggle, so we can still show others how to walk the Christian life as imperfect sojourners. And I still worship the same God that began this scary journey with me 3 months ago. I may have questioned His goodness or love for me, but now being on the flip side I can see that His hand was always with us providing EVERYTHING we needed each day. The "pretty pieces" of my organized mosaic or life did get shattered by cancer. I long for control and order each day, but I am seeing that the vase that God is making now is a little bigger and more colorful.  A vase (or life) that sees the hearts of others more and focuses less on the pieces of the container.