Letting Go

 We have approached a new chapter in the life of our household. The chapter of going to school. After a few days this summer with the kids I thought for sure I was prepared. I would imagine what it would be like to only have 3 kids at home and then possibly 2. Nothing could have prepared me for today. Madi, my 5 year old, was going off to kindergarten. She had done preschool last year, but this was a totally different experience for me. I was getting ready to send my little girl into the big ole world for several hours away from me. Gone were the days of mornings in our pj's or naps after lunch. Nope, Madi was growing up.
  There are some factors that contribute to my anxiety with sending Madi "away" to school rather than homeschooling her, but overall, I was just generally nervous. Will she make friends? Will she find her classroom? Will she make it to the bathroom? Will the day be too long for her? Will she get lost in the crowd? All those questions and more swirled through my head as the day drew closer. We took her out and got her the new school outfit and bookbag and lots of school supplies. We prepped her for all we could with her schedule and her teacher. I met with her teacher, the principal, and some other teachers that will be involved with Madi this year and realized that God had laid a perfect path for my little girl. He had already taken care of all the details that I was worrying about and it was going to be fine.

 Two days before the "big day", I began to get emotional. I would just stop and stare at her as she played and wonder where my toddler had gone. I would look through old family scrapbooks and reread the captions to her baby pictures. Didn't we just bring her home from the hospital? Wasn't it just yesterday that we were teaching her to walk, or brush her teeth, or draw people on paper? Where had the time gone? Rick has a great quote that he has used several times during this season..."Time is a wicked tyrant that waits for no one." Time marches on whether we like it or not. Whether we are prepared and ready, or not.
 So, today with a lump in my throat, I straighted her collar, gave her a healthy breakfast, took some pictures, prayed for her, and sent her to school with her dad. She was excited, nervous, and so very grown up looking. I thought of her constantly throughout the day and would look at her schedule that her teacher gave us that is on the fridge just to see where she was at that moment. I chatted with friends, checked the answering machine just to make sure the school hadn't called, and waited. I waited to see what this day had brought for her. At 2:45, I loaded the rest of the gang into the van to go pick her up. I waited in the car line and as we started moving I felt more nervous than I had all day. This was the moment that I had been waiting for...was she happy, sad, or nervous? Was she still in the same clothes that we had gotten her ready in? Did her world grow in great ways that day? As I pulled around the loop to open her door, there she stood. With the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen. She cheered when she saw my van and leaped into the car shouting, "Everyone, I had a great day at school." I immediately burst into tears of thankfulness. Madi had done it. She had made it through the first day and would make it through the next one. She seemed so grown up when she talked about her day and told me all the fun she had, the songs she sang, and the teacher she already loved. I was so proud of her and so excited about her year to come. We will make it!! I wasn't sure last night, but tonight I know that with God's help Madi and her emotional mother will make it through kindergarten. I am not sure about college or a wedding yet, but thankfully I don't have to think about that now. God has been so faithful to our family in so many ways this year...this is one more example of His deep love for each of us.